Doubt and Faith : Rational & Irrational Christians

Photograph Life

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:20:00 -0400

I think to a certain extent, we all love to take pictures. In life, there are experiences that make us feel so alive that nothing else but a picture ever comes close to immortalizing and describing what we felt in that particular moment. So, at the apex of this moment we feel must be documented, we wait patiently in anticipation for everything that was involved: the people that were there, places we’ve gone, and things that were meaningful, to arrange themselves in a tiny little frame. When everything seems to line up perfectly we press a button, the shutter sounds, and we capture that valuable moment. Not because the image might look cool with Instagram filters, but because we want to remember what that particular moment felt like, and a part of us wishes we would always feel just as we did then.
I never liked the analogy of “writing “ my own story. Writers have complete control over the stories they tell, but the most significant moments of my life did not necessarily come through “putting them to paper”. Rather, God willing, they just happened. In fact most of the struggles I faced would have never happened if I were in control. If I were “writing” my own story, I would have never put some of the things I’ve been through in my story in the first place. I have found that living life and finding meaning in the chaos of external pressures is more like shooting street photography.

Street photographers have little control over the content of their photos. When they do try to control it, for some reason those “Decisive Moments“ never feel authentic (mostly likely because they are not). The only control a street photographer has in his craft is where he positions himself on the street in anticipation of the things he sees and wants to photograph passing by.

One thing I learned in my photography class is that one of the most telling marks of an amateur street photographer is if he checks the LCD screen immediately after taking a picture. Whether to check settings, or to see if the picture turned out as envisioned, or to see if there is anything distracting in the photo. The cost for “chimping” as it is called, is the potential of missing the next significant moment to capture on camera. And missing the next moment can very well happen all because for a second, having his attention focused on a past moment, the photographer is unaware of the present one. Thus, when interesting subject matter once again arranges itself neatly, those who “chimp” let the opportunity to photograph the event slip by.

While it is essential for all photographers to look over their photos, and analyze the technical mistakes they’ve made, and from time to time dwell on the great ones taken, it is my opinion that what makes a great photographer is not his post-production skill, but rather his ability to recognize life happening, and take the photos that capture the present moment. These photographers are the ones who are present, constantly searching, positioning themselves, and patiently waiting to photograph the subjects they truly want to capture on camera, because they recognize that life is full of these subtle moments that need to be documented, and this requires the photographer’s eyes to be mostly looking up at the street through the viewfinder rather down at a LCD screen.

I’ve found that life has less to do with my own efforts to define my future, and more to do with being aware of the beautiful moments that are happening all around. It is a fact of life that no matter what I plan for my future, life never goes as planned. I am not writing my own destiny. Instead, moving about the streets of life looking for subjects and emotions that remind me I am alive, I am taking pictures. And these pictures are what define my life. Yet my biggest temptation is to overanalyze the photos I have already taken. To spend more and more of my time looking at the past pictures to see if it was in focus, or whether the details are crisp and exposed properly, and sometimes if it is not the moment I had hoped to capture, it’s easy to spend copious amounts of time in Photoshop, or browsing vintage filters to veil my subpar image in. Figuratively speaking, I have this bad habit called “chimping” not necessarily for technical reasons, but simply to gloat over the great photos I’ve already taken, and when I do, I always find myself wishing I could recreate the past images once again. I wish I could arrange things just as they were. I start to wish I could be where I was, with people that were so important to me, and I could feel the same as I did then.
Yet, life to be fully appreciated and significant requires us to look at the present world. We are composing images, and we must recognize what is dull, what is distracting, what subjects we want photograph, and what elements must be in the photograph for context. Though we cannot capture every single opportunity that arises, choosing to be present and interested in the subjects in front of us is one of the most gratifying skills one can ever learn in life. Sadly, we cannot be in more than one place at a time, and we cannot take the same picture twice, but we can see the opportunities God gives us, and, watching as things come together, we can take those pictures, cherish those soon to be present moments, and feel alive for a split second before those people, places, and things part. We must capture those moments. There will be times in our futures we will have the opportunity to glance back at our pasts, and when the opportunity arises, then we can learn from the mistakes we’ve made, and celebrate the truly amazing experiences we’ve gone through. Even still, we must never dwell on these for too long, and never let the past stop us from living and seeing that God is always creating a new thing. He is always orchestrating new experiences. Love them, but more importantly capture them before they are gone. Take lots of pictures, and seize those present moments, because you never know which moments you will cherish the most.

Hi friends. Things have calmed down in Boston since last week,...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 17:42:00 -0400

Hi friends. Things have calmed down in Boston since last week, but there is still much work to be done. Please keep praying for Boston.

Saving Money: Use These Printable Money Envelopes to Switch to Cash and Stay on Budget(via @Lifehacker)

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 19:11:06 -0400

Saving Money: Use These Printable Money Envelopes to Switch to Cash and Stay on Budget(via @Lifehacker):

Self Discipline. Lols.

I have terrible spending habits...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 19:00:23 -0400

If I were to spend as much money on others as I do on food for myself, and if I budget my money to cover all the living expenses I accrue in a month I would need to spend over 71 percent less than I usually do on food.

I’m going to try to make it happen this month. Not entirely sure if I can do it, but the way I see it, if I can truly give to others joyfully and without anxiety, eating a PB&J every day is worth it.

I wonder how I can do this in a healthy way..Let me know if any of you have suggestions. Also let me know if you want to eat with me. I’ll pay!

Thinking About God: Where is my faith?

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 11:59:40 -0500

Thinking About God: Where is my faith?:

jonathonwebb:

It’s not easy to quantify faith. I can’t say, “I had precisely this much faith yesterday, and I have this much today.” Yet I know, in my heart, that I have less faith now than I had a year ago.

It’s harder for me to believe. It’s harder for me to pray. It’s harder for me to do the right thing….

King’s Kaleidoscope - Come Thou Fount

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 19:17:00 -0500

King’s Kaleidoscope - Come Thou Fount

"What I have been telling everyone is that it’s okay to be on an emotional and spiritual high right..."

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 21:23:52 -0500

“What I have been telling everyone is that it’s okay to be on an emotional and spiritual high right now. That feeling drives the passion to learn more and serve more. Just don’t be dependent on the “PMS” because eventually things will come down. Its reality. But if you worship with all of your heart and soul (emotions and spirit), mind and strength (knowledge and servanthood) then when the emotions fail, the knowledge and serving will reignite that passion. Nothing gets us more excited that witnessing how God can work. Spirit and emotion drive hunger for knowledge and servanthood. Knowledge and servanthood ignite passion in our emotions and joy in our spirituality. If you keep the cycle going, God will continue to build you through both like going up a coiled spring. It’s a cycle, but you’re always closer to Him each time you go around.”

- Tim Lee (via mineveracity)

Audio

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 17:56:16 -0500

This is what you do.This is what you do,You make me come...

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 16:00:49 -0500

This is what you do.
This is what you do,
You make me come alive.

This is What You Do - Bethel Music (Feat. Matt Stinton)

Urbana12 Reflection | Asian Mentalities & Godly Callings

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 12:11:00 -0500

Proverbs 3:5-6

”Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight.”

I have come to the conclusion that the reason God doesn’t like to reveal the future to us is that He secretly finds it funny and entertaining watching us trying to figure it out. For those of you who know me as shocking as it may sound I am actually a senior in college, and I will be graduating in May. Thus, going to Urbana, I must admit I had an underlying hope that God would give me a grand vision, dare I say, “a calling” into a unique mission field that I could willingly sacrifice and surrender my whole life in pursuit of. So, in an effort to define the meaning of my life in a series of signs and “wonders” God miraculously would dump onto me all at once at Urbana (which was only two in actuality), on the third night thus said the Lord (I thought), “Culinary!”

The talks at Urbana were all about some great feast that is to come, and a heart wrenching movie about a homeless man working at a soup kitchen (Mr. Eddie - Banquet) had reminded me about a dream I had fostered a year back after working at a Japanese bakery. This dream of mine consisted of a fancy restaurant (preferably owned by me), and hundreds of homeless shelter residents, waited on hand and foot, all eating to their hearts’ content. My place in this dream was to be the head chef, calling all the shots making sure that all the food in preparation was of equal quality and deliciousness to the advantaged paying customer’s. Taking Jesus’s words literally I wanted to create an environment that made some who are last in society first, even if just for a day.

So, as you can imagine, when I told my dad with confident conviction the “passion” I was called to pursue, I was less than thrilled to hear my dad’s calm and extremely Asian response, “Well, you’re on your own then. I’m not paying for that.”

Though it took a while for me to come to terms with my dad’s disapproval, I actually think this lack of comfort not knowing where I will be after college is actually a tremendous blessing granted that I believe in a God who is faithful to those He loves, and loves to bless us (the church) for the sake of His name. I could go on and on talking about all the ways God revealed this to me at Urbana, but for the sake of time I will instead focus on the one lesson at Urbana that didn’t match up with my pipe dream.

One of the messages was on the Parable of the 10 Minas. A mina is a monetary value that is equivalent to 10,000 bucks or three months wages. Thus, the parable is essentially about stewardship. A nobleman gives each of his servants one mina and expects them to make a profit for him. After a long journey the nobleman comes back and asks for the profit. One servant makes ten minas, a second five, and a third no profit. It concludes with the nobleman giving each servant governance over the cities the nobleman ruled over each according to how responsible they were with the mina they were given. Ten cities to the first, 5 cities to the second, and none to the third.

After the talk with my dad about all the reasons he would not support my crazy endeavor, it finally hit me that I was fairly similar to the servant who made no profit with his mina. Though perhaps God had not given me three months of wages to invest in for his kingdom, by pursuing culinary I was actually neglecting a blessing of much greater value then three months of wages: over three years of higher education at a prestigious university. Over three years ago, by the grace of God I had gotten into this college even though I didn’t have the grades, and because of Urbana and the talk with my dad that followed, I realized that I’ve taken my degree too lightly, neglecting the potential options and skills I have gained because of it. Honestly, I regret not learning this lesson earlier college.

As C.S. Lewis puts it:

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

I don’t think God is ashamed of me at all to call me His own. But I do imagine my heavenly father watching me play in this sort of slum, thinking to himself, “You little twerp. Let me take you to the beach!”

A sociology degree though not as flashy as the various more specialized majors BU offers, it is the mina God has entrusted to me, and He rather that I not waste it. Instead, His desire for me is to take every blessing He has given me, and to put it to use for His kingdom as best as possible.

What about my dream? The far-fetched fancy feast for famished feasters? I have no idea what will become of it. Maybe one day it’ll become a reality, but maybe in lieu of God’s plan to bring heaven to earth, my dream is actually too small. I might be in a figurative slum playing chef, and feeding my friends cakes of poop. All I know at this point is that God is waiting for me to put it down, and follow him. To some sort of beach I hear.

"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence, but also internal violence of..."

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 14:09:59 -0500

““Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence, but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.””

- Martin Luther King, Jr. (via aduly)

Christmas Hope.

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 17:21:00 -0500

Advent’s significance for me this year is the thought that despite circumstances it is never foolish to hope. Despite dissapointment after dissapointment and evidence that suggests nothing will get better for humanity and our own personal lives, the possibility still remains that something small and unknown would supercede our expectations and serve as evidence that suggests redemption has come to humanity and us individually. The Christian faith believes this something (or someone rather) came in the form of a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger. The nobody who would become the somebody Israel waits for. Christians claim this child born in poverty, even if he doesn’t look like much, is everything that we truly need and truly desire. And that one day because of Him everything will be as it should be.

From my perspective things seem pretty screwed up these days, but I will expect good things today and for the future. Not because there is much evidence that suggests I can be optimistic persay (though historically good things have happened), but because I simply don’t know if the future is going to be good or bad. There is plenty of reasons to believe things are going to be bad. Yet what about reasons to believe in a good future? All I have are promises and a few signs that would suggests that there is a God who loves us, and has for us life the way it was meant to be lived. I have rumors and wonders that tell us we would one day have love in its fullest, joy beyond measure, peace without strife, and hope would no longer be a foolish thought. Instead the phrase, “Well, what did you expect?” would be primarily uttered to correct those who expected too little instead of too much. And in my inabilty to ignore this broken world, I hope for more. Because things will be good. Because I believe He is good.

I will place hope in this God, because everything else I have been exposed to suggest a bleak future. This God, even when he doesn’t look like much, is everything I truly need and truly desire.

Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

"The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he “likes” them. The Christian, trying to treat..."

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 17:09:03 -0500

“The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he “likes” them. The Christian, trying to treat every one kindly, finds him liking more and more people as he goes on—including people he could not even have imagined himself liking at the beginning.”

- C.S. Lewis (via hisquietvoice)

Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; drive the dark of doubt...

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:36:38 -0500

Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; drive the dark of doubt away;

Giver of Immortal Gladness, fill us with the light of day!

#CharmedbyWhoopiAnd90sGospelMusic

Hey God,

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 16:30:14 -0500

So when are you coming back? You promised you would, and I know you’ve always been true to your word, but people have been doubting that you’ll ever come back. It’s been how many years?

One day I’ll see you, and physically be able to walk with you. Can I cook for you? I’ve been working on my “Alton Brown’s Mac and Cheese”. It’s still not that good, so don’t come just yet, but I imagine when that day comes I will wish I had listened to you and gone deeper into hard times and gone into the darkest places. Just so that I could say I was there to witness how you, Superhero of Superheros, saved the day. It’ll be a good day even if I didn’t, but how awesome would it be to say I was there to witness with my own eyes all the cool things you’ll do!

I’ve never been very good with horror movies, but maybe I should start watching a bunch so that I’d be more brave in life.

Anyways, I miss you. Come home soon.

-Ethan

P.S. - When is your real birthday?

After Lazarus died, Jesus was troubled to the point of lament. Then, in His own timing brought...

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 20:47:00 -0500

After Lazarus died, Jesus was troubled to the point of lament. Then, in His own timing brought Lazarus back.

As dumb as I may sound, it’s in times like these that I like to believe that the Resurrection of Lazarus actually happened, and that Jesus, who is alive today, has not changed.

Pray. There are no words.

He has overcome

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:48:00 -0500

He has overcome

Dear families of the Sandy Hook Elementary School victims,

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:36:56 -0500

As I struggle to pen these words, I am angry. The shootings make no sense to me. Yet I cannot even imagine the difficulties you all must be facing today. Though I am not in a position to physically help you, I offer these words, in hopes that in good time you may find resolve:

I believe in a God who is good. I believe that though we do not understand an event like this in the grand scheme of human history, He does, and that this event has a good purpose though we cannot see it now. And when that purpose is revealed, this pain will be worth something. It won’t be in vain. I cannot fathom what it would be like to unjustly lose a child, but I believe because this God likens himself to a loving father, He knows exactly how you feel.

Justice is out of our hands to give, but know that I and millions across the world, have been asking this God for justice to be dealt and healing to be given. And I believe both will be given accordingly. They will come. Just wait and see.

Christmas Night by Castle Island Hymns. Make my friend’s...

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 18:19:00 -0500

Christmas Night by Castle Island Hymns.

Make my friend’s band too cool for hipsters, and buy their Xmas Album.

"Man is more himself, more manlike, when joy is the fundamental thing in him and grief the..."

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 20:42:56 -0500

“Man is more himself, more manlike, when joy is the fundamental thing in him and grief the superficial. Melancholy should be an innocent interlude, a tender and fugitive frame of mind; praise should be the permanent pulsation of the soul. Pessimism is at best an emotional half holiday; joy is the uproarious labour by which all things live.”

- G.K. Chesterton